Un Equilibre

General Nutrition

2010-12-05T19:48:00.000-07:00

Overall Nutrition

Goals: A Strong and fast body, A Quick mind, A Solid Spirit... for life.

After taking time to learn a bit about eating well for optimum performance, reaching your body’s ideal weight, and living healthy, this is a summary of what I have learned.

Principles:

Drink a lot of water
Eat:

Free range lean meats, especially chicken, fish and organic eggs
Organic vegetables and fruits
Raw nuts
Organic spices and condiments
Foods that are in season
Locally produced food as much as possible

Prepare your own meals
Eat as a family or with close friends as much as possible
Grow some of your own vegetables
Buy from producers and places that treat people, animals, and the environment with respect
Reduce your portion sizes
Skip one/two meals per week, and donate the money to a charity
Get 7-9 hours of sleep each night

Avoid:

Sugar
Alcohol
Tobacco
Refined carbohydrates
Processed foods
Trans fats
Factory farm products
Fast food

The Plan and Timing for Eating:
1. Eat every two to three hours, and within 30 min of a workout.
2. Each time you eat (every two to three hours), eat lean protein.
3. Each time you eat (every two to three hours), eat fruits and veggies.
4. After you’ve just worked out, is the time to eat some starchy carbohydrates such as whole wheat bread, pasta, sweet potatoes and other nutrient rich starchy carbs. If you haven't exercised recently, eat less of starchy carbs in favor of the fruits and vegetables.
5. Avoid fats right after a workout.
6. Balance out your diet with good fats. Eat raw nuts (cashews, almonds, walnuts) supplementing with things like fish oil, olive oil, flax seeds, flax oil, etc.

Implementation: Start with whatever principle is easiest for you to follow first and the easiest item to avoid on the “Avoid” list. Once you have those two things going without any problem then move on to the next easiest principle to follow and item to avoid until you’re following each principle and avoiding all the items in the “Avoid” list.

Links:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/exercise/HQ00594_D (eating and exercise timing)
http://sportsmedicine.about.com/lr/sports_nutrition/219397/3/ (articles about nutrition for athletes)
http://www.paleodiet.com/definition.htm (paleo diet for better health)
http://www.afightersdiet.com/ (diet plan for fighters)

Road Trip to TBS

2010-04-27T11:45:00.000-06:00

Right now I'm sitting in Quantico and I'm getting ready to go check in at the Marine Corps base. So this is right at the end of the trip. Drew is already on the airplane home. It was sad to say goodbye. Almost as sad as saying goodbye to my family. Actually it was as sad as leaving my family except I was only leaving one person behind so it's wasn't as hard to deal with.

Anyway all that to say it was a successful trip. Now for the story...

When we left Utah it was nice and sunny. In fact the weather was really nice maybe even a little warm until we got halfway through colorado. Once we got to Grand Junction it was getting a bit chilly. We stopped for a bite to eat at a place called good times burger. It was very good so if you're ever in that area, make sure you go there. While we were there we reserved a hotel in Denver Colorado. After we left Grand Junction, the weather changed and started to get colder and colder. The canyons we were driving through were absolutely beautiful. We had huge clifs on both sides of us and the road was nice and twisty making it a lot of fun to drive. Then it started to rain and the sun set. So it was getting dark. The rain changed to snow and right around vail we were driving on a slippery snowy road in the middle of a small blizzard. It was crazy how fast the snow was falling, and it made it nearly impossible to see. Drew was navigating the whole time except for during the worst part of the storm when he actually got super tired and just fell asleep. I was too busy trying to see the other cars, and trying to figure out where the road was going to be scared. So I just kept on driving even though I could barely see. After the summit on our way down toward Denver the snow became rain but it was still fairly cold.

We've actually got to Denver safely and found the hotel with the use of our trusty GPS. I thoroughly believe GPS is the only way to travel now a days. It made it so much easier to find the places we wanted to go.
Friday, we woke up early... well early really being like 8 o'clock in the morning. It was still raining. We drove drove most of the day until about 7 o'clock when we stopped at a place in kansas city called JC Gilbert's. It's an expensive restaurant that has a lot of steak and other meats. I spent about $60 just on my own food but the steak I had was the best steak I've ever tasted. I couldn't believe how good it was! Cooked just right and so flavorful you didnt want to stop eating even once you were full. After the meal Drew drove a few more hours the rest of the way to our hotel in Chesterfield.

The next day was more relaxed. We didn't set our alarms because we figured we would sleep in as much as possible. What we didn't realize is that we slept in a lot longer than we meant to and the room service ended up waking us up. once we got on the road. We traveled a few more hours out to saint louis where we looked at the "gateway to the west" a great big huge arch that is over in saint louis missouri. It was raining the whole time, but it wasn't too bad. then we drove on to annela and Karre Teemants house. The Teemant aunts house is absolutely amazing. They have a corner of the basement set aside for the theater which has surround sound. Annela has her own office with books in filing cabinets all over the place. And Kaare has an entire room devoted to her crafts and other service projects.

We spent about 6 hours just talking with them and eating some food over at a place called texas roadhouse. The steak there wasn't nearly as good but the company was excellent. It was kinda funny to hear drew's aunts tell him that he needed to get his butt in gear "so that he could keep up with his brothers. You're the smartest one of the children. When will you realize that you can be successful as well?" Then they made fun of me for joining the marines saying that it wasn't the smartest thing i could have done. We all had a good time and enjoyed each others company. Their dog angel is a super happy dog. Almost as much as Rontu and was playing around with us and her toys the whole time. Kaare is now the relief society president and she is busy doing that and a bunch of service projects. Annela spends most of her time, in fact 60-70 hours a week trying to publish papers and do research in order to get tenure at the Purdue University where she is teaching.

The next day we drove most of the day off to dc. It was raining super hard most of the way which was not as fun to drive because the trucks would spray the car with tons of water. We made it to dc safely at night around 10 then visited the Lincoln memorial the Washington monument and the World War 2 memorial. Since it was night time all 3 of the monuments were lit up and looked really cool. After that we found a late night bar to go and get some food called mad hatter. The hamburgers there were excellent.

The next day we drove around until we found the white house. which was actually kind of hard because of some construction and other things that were going on. Then we headed out towards Kris teemants house in alexandria virginia. Since he was still at work we decided to go get some food and watch a movie. We saw a movie called "kick a##" which was absolutely hilarious but it had no point to it at all.

After the movie iI went and got a haircut at a place called Hair Cuttery which was the first time I've paid for a haircut in the last 2 or 3 months. The lady did a good job though so I felt like I got my money's worth.
We got to Kris's place at around 6 o'clock it was great to see his 2 little boys Oliver and Everett. Kris is doing Honor Guard with the Navy where he is actually standing near dignitaries and other important people that come to the US. It requires that his uniform be in absolutely pristine shape. So he needs to polish his brass all the time. After doing two years in this post he'll be stationed in a place where he can continue his training as a medic or a corpsman in the navy. Veronica his wife is stating at home with her mom who is now helping her as well and taking care of the babies. Drew was a hit with the kids and they were really happy to let him hold them for hours.

We got home pretty late last night around 10:30 closer to 11pm. Then we got everything ready for the next day since we were waking up super early today. We got up at 5:30 in the morning and ate breakfast on the way to the airport where I dropped Drew off. I've decided that i hate saying goodbye to people. It doesn't matter how much Jiu Jitsu training you get. I just somehow get all choked up anyway.

Laser Eye Surgery - My PRK Experience - three month checkup

2009-07-15T22:24:00.000-06:00

I had my 3-month checkup and the doctor brought up the eye chart as usual. It was awesome! I was able to see the 20/15 line with both eyes. So I've got better than 20/20 vision thanks to PRK. I'm loving it since I can see things super far away, even better than I could before with contacts or glasses. No astigmatism, no halos, no glare at night, no rain and no fogging up my glasses. There isn't a word that can express how great it is to not have any problems with my sight after wearing some sort of corrective lens for the last 12 years.

I've said it before, but if you decide to get laser vision correction and are willing to take the extra time to heal, get PRK. It's safer and doesn't leave your cornea weaker like LASIK does. Plus it's usually a fair amount cheaper. Either way though, you absolutely need to make sure you go to a good doctor and make sure they use wave-optimized or wave-guided lasers. Look at the statistics. A good doctor with the latest technology makes the biggest difference between the likelihood of getting perfect vision or not.

Motorcycle Maintenance

2009-06-10T14:53:00.003-06:00

I just got some new tires for my bike. It's an R6 and had some Dunlop Qualifiers on it. The back tire was especially old and worn. Since I don't ever plan to take the bike on the track I got some Michelin Pilot Road 2's and I'm really happy with the tires. They stick real nicely even in rain and I haven't felt like I've sacrificed any traction even going with some tires that are meant more for sport touring than for sport bikes. Canyon runs are amazing, and I know I'm comparing nice new tires to old worn out ones, but the Road2's are so much smoother and reliable.

Plus a good note to Honda World in Sandy, Utah where I bought the tires and had them installed. They cleaned my brakes so they don't squeek anymore, and got me a great deal on the tires. A+ on service and price for them. I'd highly recommend them to anyone needing to buy motorcycle tires in the Salt Lake area.

Laser Eye Surgery - My PRK Experience - two months later

2009-05-10T01:11:00.004-06:00

I've been off the steroid drops now for about 2 weeks. My left eye is getting clearer and clearer and is almost as good as my right eye now. My right eye has also become more stable and seems even clearer than even just two weeks ago.

My eyes are dry more than they were before the surgery but nothing terrible. I put in eye drops about every 2-3 hours on windy days and don't really have problems at all on more humid days.

When my eyes are tired I still have some very slight ghosting, but that has almost completely disapeared and is only noticeable when it's dark and I'm looking at a light that's close by. No halos and no star bursts.

My eyes are a bit more sensitive to the light during the day than before, but I look cool with my $3 sunglasses that the doctor gave me. So I just wear those around a lot and strut my stuff.

I'm really happy with the results. Overall I feel like my vision is better than when I was wearing contacts. When my eyes were tired with contacts my vision was terrible which made it so that my sight wasn't as dependable. Now even when my eyes are tired my vision is stable. I'd recommend Hoopes Vision Center to anyone getting laser eye surgery in Utah whether it be LASIK or PRK. They did a good job and I felt like they took good care of me throughout. In another month I have my 3-month checkup and I'm expecting my eye sight to have stabilized enough by then that I can count on the results at that point being the permanent result.

Laser Eye Surgery - My PRK Experience - 5 weeks later

2009-04-28T01:24:00.003-06:00

Had my 1-month checkup the other day and my right eye is 20/20 while my left eye is 20/30. The doctor was confident that my vision in my left eye will catch up and both eyes will be 20/20. I'm sill using eye drops regularly but I'm down to about 2-3 hours now per drop. So luckily I wn't have to spend so much anymore on freaking tears. Pisses me off that they cost so much. Who knew that tears could be so precious eh?

Anyway, every day I'm testing my eye sight by seeing what I can read and how far away I can get before I can't read things anymore. Up close is no problem at all same as before with contacts. Far away is amazingly clear. Even my night vision is awesome. The glow around lights is almost completely gone now. Overall, I'd even say I can see better than I could with contacts and glasses since there's no glare from the lenses and no eye strain from tired eyes caused by the contacts.

PRK was painful and is taking a while to heal, but I was able to do my normal things 5 days after the surgery and the rest of the inconveniences were worth not having to worry about an flap in my eye coming loose if I get punched in the face. (I train at a fighting gym so this happens regularly)

PRK was definetly worth the money and the pain. LASIK is for the people who are too busy to take two more days off work, or who are afraid of pain. I'm not sure the possible complications and weaker cornea are worth it. For me it for sure wouldn't have been worth it, but for others with more sedentary lifestyles LASIK would probably be the best option.

Laser Eye Surgery & Eye Drops - My PRK Experience - Three Weeks Later

2009-04-11T01:33:00.005-06:00

Vision in both eyes has been about the same as Week two, my left eye is slightly blurrier than my right eye. Both eyes are much dryer overall now. So I'm using lubricating drops all the time. I've tried three different kinds of artificial tears, Thera Tears, Blink Tears, and Optiva. I like the moisturizing effects of the Blink tears the most since my eyes seem to stay moist longer with those, and supposedly they help the epithelium heal because of the hyaluronic acid they have (http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1772195). But the Optiva tears feel the most natural and comfortable when I put them in. They feel like the tears you get when you're going really fast on a motorcycle without a helmet on and your eyes tear up. That's a good feeling!

Thera Tears suck. My eyes didn't feel moist for very long at all when I put them in and they didn't feel good when I put the drops in my eyes. They felt more like I was putting salt water in my eye.

I'm still using steroid drops every four hours, and starting tomorrow, I'll slowly start using them less and less over the next week.

Laser Eye Surgery - My PRK Experience - Two Weeks

2009-04-11T01:33:00.004-06:00

My vision still fluctuates between a little blurry and perfectly clear. I'm still taking the steroid drops every four hours. My eyes feel like they're bugging out because of the additional ocular pressure caused by the steroid drops I'm using. There's still some slight ghosting in my left eye all the time and when my eyes are tired some ghosting in my right eye as well. Both eyes are very sensitive to being bumped and even the slightest bump hurts a lot more than before.

Laser Eye Surgery - My PRK Experience - Days 7 & 8

2009-04-11T01:32:00.001-06:00

My eyes aren't getting tired anymore like they were and they feel awesome. I'm using the eye lubricating drops a lot more often now to keep my eyes moist. They don't feel dry, but the nurse at the office was pretty adamant about using the drops every 30-45 minutes. I've found that right after I put in the lubricating drops I can see even better. I can work and drive just like before with contacts, but now my eyes don't get all bothered by the contacts. It's awesome. My vision is still changing slightly. Sometimes it's not as good as others, but I'm still seeing really really well and I'm so glad I got the surgery and that the doctor did a good job.

Laser Eye Surgery - My PRK Experience - Days 5 & 6

2009-04-11T01:31:00.001-06:00

Day 5

I went back to work and school today and drove myself as well. My left eye is still a bit scratchy, dry, and blurry. Not nearly as good as the day after the surgery though. My right eye is almost perfect, no scratchiness, very clear vision, and not dry at all. I'm using the lubricating drops regularly now since my eyes aren't tearing up anymore, and I'm still on the antibiotic and steroid regiment as well. I was able to focus on my computer at work just fine. Things are still blurry at times but otherwise it was easy to see everything even far off things on the mountain on the other side of the valley. The doctor told me that when I get the contacts removed tomorrow that my vision will be worse than it is now.

Day 6

The bandage contacts the doctor put in are starting to give me problems so I'm really glad I have the appointment today to get them removed. I'm seeing very clearly today though. My eyes are a bit dry, but not bad. I could see just fine, but noticed that my vision was noticeably worse after the contacts were removed. My eyes seem to get tired faster than before still, but feel great otherwise. The doctor tested my vision and I had a pretty solid 20/20.

Laser Eye Surgery - My PRK Experience - Day 4

2009-04-11T01:30:00.001-06:00

I could actually see today and went about doing things like normal without any pain at all. My eyes got tired really easily but there was no pain at all and even the light sensitivity was almost back to normal. Fluorescent lights seemed to be more annoying than the regular lights, but even those were alright. I walked around with my sunglasses on to baby my eyes since they are still getting better and I'm really hoping to have as good of eye sight as possible. I'm seeing almost well enough to drive, but since my eyes get tired easily and make it hard to focus I didn't feel safe doing so.

I could go about my normal activities and I even exercised a bit. I'd just relax and close my eyes every so often so that they didn't get too tired. I went for a walk at night to see how my night vision is faring. My right eye is seeing halos around lights and my left eye is seeing double or ghosting as other people describe it. After putting some ice on my eyes for about 15 minutes and keeping them closed the halos and the double vision were gone, so I'm pretty sure that both effects will go away in time. My next doctor's appointment to remove the contacts won't be until Day 6, so I'll have to ask and make sure that everything is ok if the halos and such are still a problem tomorrow.

Laser Eye Surgery - My PRK Experience - Day 3

2009-04-11T01:29:00.001-06:00

This morning I woke up and my eyes felt great. I could open them for about 10 seconds at a time which is double what I could before. Previously they would tear up so much that I had to close them again. The pain is about a 2 today. My eyes are still very sensitive to the light though. Even with sun glasses and my eyes closed, if the sun goes across my face I have to turn away since it hurts my eyes.

My eyes aren't tearing up as much as they were yesterday, but still a lot more than normal. There's a fair amount of scratchiness still, but I think that's due more to the contacts that are still in my eyes rather than the surgery. My eye's aren't burning anymore and I'm switching from ice packs to hot packs today for my eyes.

My eyes seem to be taking turns on which one feels the worst. On Day 1 my eyes were both hurting but my right eye was easily an 8 out of 10 on the pain scale while my left was only like a 3. Yesterday my left eye was about a 5 and my right was about a 2. Today I'd say my left is about a 2 and my right is about a 1. So even though things are getting better they're still so sensitive to the light that if I open them near the window while the sun is out the pain goes up to about a 8.

I still can't focus well on anything for more than a couple seconds at a time. If I took the pain relievers again, I'd probably be able to focus better since they wouldn't hurt. But I'd prefer to have the pain and keep my eyes naturally moist than to have to use the eye lubricating drops every 10 minutes. Plus I figure the natural tears have more nutrients to help heal my eyes faster than the artificial tears. I spent most of the day sleeping, listening to books on tape and music, and keeping up with the antibiotic and steroid drops every four hours as prescribed.

Laser Eye Surgery - My PRK Experience - Day 2

2009-04-11T01:28:00.001-06:00

I woke up with both eyes in slight pain, I'd say about a 4 or 5. Both eyes were still watery but I put in some lubricating drops in anyway, and also put in the antibiotic drops. I put ice in a plastic bag with a bit of water. Then put that over my eyes. It felt amazing, and it helped numb the pain.

Before my 1:00 appointment, I put in a drop of the Acular drops they prescribed me so I could easily keep my eyes open during the appointment. The doctor said everything was going well. My eyes were seeing about 20/25 Which is much better than expected. Normally people who have PRK are seeing about 20/30 and 20/40. So I’m excited by the idea of being able to see about 100 times better than I could see before. The Acular wore off a couple hours later and I could only keep my eyes open a couple seconds at a time. Right now it hurts enough that I just keep them closed 90% of the time and sleep a lot. I highly recommend buying a good book on tape before getting PRK.

I didn't use any pain relieving drops after my appointment even though both eyes were very much in pain. I just stuck with the antibiotic and steroid drops every four hours and ignored the pain. The steroid drops seemed to make my eyes hyper sensitive to the light, and the antibiotic drops taste absolutely gross. Later in the day my sister brought her new puppy over and we had fun playing for a while. I can't keep my eyes open for more than a few seconds at a time still though because of the pain. It's a ton easier to just keep them closed and I still continued doing the ice pack thing about every two hours I'd put it over my eyes four about 10-15 minutes. That helped with the pain a ton, and I prefer ice to Loritab. My eyes are still tearing up because of the pain. A lot of people complain about having dry eyes during the healing process. My eyes have been the exact opposite, probably because I'm not taking the pain medication. Even though I'm hurting a bit, I'm not having to deal with dry eyes. Before the surgery, I'd wake up with my eyes a bit dry and it'd hurt to blink until they got some tears going. I still used the lubricating drops though about every hour just to follow the doctor's recommendation. I'm typing this with my eyes closed right now since my eyes hurt a lot still.

Laser Eye Surgery - My PRK Experience - Day 1

2009-04-11T01:24:00.003-06:00

March 19, 2009

I decided to get laser eye surgery, specifically PRK. I could have had LASIK, since my corneas are actually a bit thicker than the average, but my career choice makes LASIK not as good of an option. So I went with PRK which has a similar success rate and less chance of complications.

It cost me $3450 total for both eyes, and that was with a $1000 discount. When my actual day of surgery arrived they put in some antibiotic drops in my eyes which stung a bit but wasn't bad. After checking my blood pressure and seeing that it was kind of high they have me some valium to help calm my nerves. The valium helped. Next they decided that since I had worn contacts for about an hour four days before my last checkup, my eyes needed to be mapped again. So they remapped my eyes and then had me wait while I read a paper about the procedure I was about to go through. They talked about how there might be haze and some of the other possible complications of getting PRK. Next they gave me a few different eye drops to take every four hours. One was a pain reliever, Acular. Another was an antibiotic called Vigmox, next was a steroid to help the eyes heal called Omnipred, and finally some lubricating drops. I opted to have both eyes done at the same time since I had the surgery on Thursday and had both Thursday and Friday off work.

Once it had all been explained to me, they cleaned off my eyes both inside and out by putting in a few drops of antibiotic again and swabbing my eyes while they were closed. Next they had me lie down on a gray rubber bed underneath the laser. A technician taped my eye lashes back and then the doctor put in the thing that holds open your eye. The other eye they just put some gauze over and taped that down. Next the doctor had me stare at a green light and placed something on my eye which he then filled with alcohol to loosen and kill the top layer of epithelial cells. They kept that on my eye for about 35 seconds. Then removed the alcohol and took the cylinder thing off my eye. The only thing I felt was a fair amount of pressure from the thing the doctor put on my eye. Everything was blurry and staring at the green light while he was doing this was about impossible.

Next he started using a some pointy instrument to scrape the dead cells off my eye which looked like a bunch of gray goop as he scraped them off. It looked kind of cool from my side seeing the dead tissue being pushed off my eye while I stared at the green light. I'm not one to get squeamish about these kind of things, so I enjoyed seeing it first hand… Sick I know. Next thing they did was program the laser, an Allegretto Wave light something or other laser, and for about 14 seconds I had to be really careful not to move my eye. The green light was my focus and I was really worried about ruining it by moving my eye. Even though the tracking system is supposedly incredibly good at following eye movement. There were also 3 red lights in a triangle formation around the top half of the laser and four groups of white LEDs that shone really bright while the laser as working. It wasn't uncomfortable at all except I was worried about moving my eye. Next they cleansed my eye with some kind of eye wash that felt cold and then placed the bandage contact on my eye. The next eye was the same except the procedure for the laser only lasted 13 seconds instead of 14. The one thing that had me worried was that I couldn't see the green light clearly at all. My eye was still completely out of focus after the alcohol prep. So I was staring at a green blob the whole time instead of a green light. The whole thing lasted less than 10 minutes. After they finished they had me get up and asked me if I could see better. I was surprised to find that I could already see a ton better. They put some sunglasses on me and then had me go see the in-house opthmologist. He said my eyes looked good and that he'd check up on me again tomorrow.

My mom drove me home and I slept most of the way during the 45 min drive. She dropped me off at my house and then went to go get the prescriptions for the Loritab and the pain relieving eye drops. Boy am I wishing I had health insurance now. Hehe. The loritab wasn't too expensive since I could get a generic brand, but the Acular drops cost me $100.

She took about an hour to go get the medicine and during that hour my right eye started to hurt incredibly bad. I'd rate it an 8 on a scale of 1-10. A 1 being "The lights are a little too bright" and a 10 being "take me to the emergency room my eye is melting!!!" I'd describe the pain like being punched in the eye by someone who had put Tabasco sauce on their fist. Your eye feels like it is going to pop and it burns like crazy.

My left eye though didn't hurt at all comparatively. I wanted to sleep, but the pain kept me awake. So I just sat there and relaxed with my eyes closed. I hate taking pain medicine. So I just used the antibiotic and steroid drops as prescribed and left out the pain relieving drops. My right eye was tearing up really bad all day. I only used the lubricating drops in my left eye every 30 min like the doctor said since it wasn't tearing up. Toward the end of the day though my left eye started to hurt also and tearing up as well, so I just used the lubricating drops in both eyes about every hour or so instead of every 30 min. The doctor also told me to use a cold pack on my eyes for 10 minutes every hour for the next 5-6 hours. So I kept that up and it helped to numb the pain quite a bit. I didn't use any of the pain medication until about 8:00 pm when I was getting annoyed by the pain and was ready to go to sleep. The Loritab helped take off the edge and the Acular eye drops were amazing at stopping the pain. I slept like a baby all night.

Motorcycle Trip Cont'd and Movies

2007-06-04T21:23:00.001-06:00

The Spring River Run we went to is a huge gathering of bikers (mostly Harley riders.) I stuck out like a sore thumb among all the bikers there since I was riding a bright red Honda CBR, dressed in a white t-shirt with a Hawaiian surfer on it and Adidas warm ups. All this while most of the other riders were riding highly decorated Harley bikes and wearing leather, Harley t-shirts, bandannas, and other road biker paraphernalia.

Usually motorcycle riders will wave as they pass each other on the highway, but these guys (and girls) were not nearly so friendly. If you had a nice Harley and looked the part, you fit right in and people would actually have a friendly conversation with you. But I found out pretty quickly that sport bike riders and Harley riders don't get along so well. Which was too bad since I was just there to be a part of the experience. Anyway, after walking around a lot and looking at some really cool bikes, we ate at a mexican restaurant inside one of the casinos then continued on our ride to Lake Havasu.

When we left it was still light out and the sun was bright so I put on my sunglasses and after the GPS unit got us lost and unlost(would have been easier just to follow road signs) we were on our way. We didn't stop much once we got going and soon enough the sun set. It got dark fast and with only one headlight it can be a little hard to see around the corners and such. I was straining to see and by the time we reached Lake Havasu I had a pretty bad headache from it. I didn't even realize it was because I had left my sunglasses on the entire time. So lesson learned, I took them off. My headache went away after a bit of rest and some water. But it sure made the ride a painful one,/ and that's one mistake I'm not going to make again.

The rest of the trip was a blast except for me crashing a couple rented wave runners and possibly breaking my dad's leg in the process. He never went to the doctor for it since he didn't want my mom to find out about the crash and a month later it still hurts. That was probably my most expensive crash to date. $1200 in one pop. So now my list of crashed vehicles includes cars, a truck, motorycles, and waverunners. I just need to crash a flying vehicle now. Paper airplanes don't count in my book since there isn't much possiblilty of personal injury. Ironically with all these accidents I've never had a speeding ticket and thankfully no one has been seriously injured or killed in any of my accidents. Now that I think of it, the wave runner is the only one that actually involved more than one vehicle... all the others were just for odd reasons.

So those were some of the interesting happenings on my motorcycle trip.

Now for the movies:
Go see Spiderman 3, don't expect anything good and you'll like it. Only watch 300 if you liked Gladiator and aren't sensitive to nudity. Shooter was a fun movie nothing great though. Next was awesome, kind of a mix between Deja Vu and Matrix. Shrek 3 is only worth watching in the dollar theater or on DVD(But it is worth watching), and Pirates of the Carribean 3 is my favorite movie of the 3.

That is all.

Family Photo Time!

2006-12-08T04:31:00.000-07:00

Haha, every year my family has pictures taken for our Christmas cards. This is the photo we chose for this years edition. Left - Right (Me, Alecsis, Marites, Jeremy, Mom, Dad). Normally I hate taking family photos but this time we had fun on the way there and back so it wasn't so bad. Our adventures included crossing a raging creek, and braving the stare of carnivorous cows. The cows weren't actually carnivorous, and the creek wasn't really raging. Ok fine! Taking family photos is never fun, you got me. :-P

I guess I at least have a cool family, and that's the truth!

Helpless, Out of Control, Sinking Deeper n' Deeper

2006-04-02T03:08:00.000-06:00

THIS IS JUST ONE LONG RANT ABOUT A BAD EXPERIENCE I HAD DIVING YESTERDAY...fair warning.

I've been doing a SCUBA course which has been fun. I even got a free mask and am supposed to get a free snorkel but the school hasn't received the snorkels yet. As for the actual diving, I've been able to perform all the exercises they've had us do in the pool and I thought it was kind of cool...at least it was until yesterday. We went for an open water dive at a place called The Crater. It's a big cavern filled with water that comes from a hot spring. I've been diving there before and had a good time even though there's not a whole lot to see there. The walls and floor are made of really fine silt that and if touched the silt goes everywhere and completely ruins all visibility. When we arrived I guess someone had touched the walls because I couldn't see more than about 10 feet in the water. Plus my mask kept on fogging up really bad and made it even worse.

When we started the dive our group went down to a platform about 20ft down and did a few exercises such as mask clearing and regulator retrievals. My dad and I were the last ones in the line and while my dad was finishing his exercises the rest of the group started swimming off with one of the instructors. I wasn't sure what to do so I started following. When I looked back my dad wasn't behind me, then when I turned back to follow the group they were gone also. So I neutralized my buoyancy as best as I could since my depth gauge wasn't working and just relaxed and waited for an instructor to find me. About minute or so later(It's easy lose track of time in the water) one of them, who I will call Inst1, found me, gabbed me and shoved me toward one of the buoy ropes that I couldn't see before. I figured Inst1 was a bit mad since I had gotten lost. When we got there he motioned for me to go up slowly then left. So I started going up, when I got to another platform I looked around at some of the other students, but they were from a different diving group, and my group was no where to be seen.

Again I waited since I had no clue where to go. About five minutes later the same instructor, Inst1, showed up again and motioned for me to follow. So I followed. We got back to the first platform without any further problems and the rest of the group and my dad were there. Our instructors then had us go up hand over hand super slowly up the rope to the surface so that we wouldn't get the bends. A few minutes later we surfaced and Inst1 immediately expressed his disappointment in "a student who was normally very good at diving but had gone down to 40ft and was still sinking. He could have died." I knew I had messed up but I at least wanted to vindicate myself by letting them know my gauge was not working. So after the chastisement was over I said, "I'm sorry, but I really couldn't tell how deep I was and that I was sinking since my gauge isn't working." To which he replied with a hint of cynicism, "All the equipment is working, we checked it all." I was shocked that he would be so quick to imply that I was just making stupid excuses without even checking for himself. Inst1 then told me not to go below 20ft on our next dive since I had surpassed the recommended depth, it could be dangerous if I did. I was ok with that. Either way I didn't feel too badly since I was still alive and nothing really bad had occurred. Plus Inst1 was actually pretty good at teaching and we had held a healthy respect between student and instructor up until this point. So I shrugged off any thoughts I had about how stupid he was being.

We then were told to remove our SCUBA gear so we could do some snorkeling to give some time for the nitrogen in our blood to dissipate. Most of the other students had bought their own snorkels, but I had not since the school was supposed to give me a free snorkel. So I told them I didn't have a snorkel yet. The same instructor got a bit angry again and started chastising me for not having a snorkel. That was when I started getting mad. I don't mind so much if I get in trouble for something I did, but when I'm in trouble for someone else's mistakes or ineptitude I can't stand for it, and when I get mad I don't communicate so well. I usually just shut up and try to calm myself down. He then told me to go rent a snorkel from the crater manager. This time I was so mad that I was able to throw myself up on the deck without any help or a ladder. Adrenaline rushes are nice that way. I stomped on the pier as I walked away and went and got a snorkel. I got back and finished the snorkeling with the group and said nothing to the instructor at all. I was really starting to hate diving. It was freaking boring just sitting there waiting for everyone. It was frustrating trying to communicate to each other under water. It is so easy to make a small mistake and die from it. There has been nothing super exciting about being underwater, especially at The Crater. They always say not to touch the things you see or to change it in anyway. That makes sense since an entire reef could suffer if a single diver ruins part of it. But if you can't touch it and you can't do anything with it, there's not a whole lot of difference between diving and watching TV. Sure it's a weird experience breathing underwater, especially the first time, but it's nothing specialit obviously takes a lot of talent to breath.NOT! Yeah, so I'm bitter.

After about half an hour we put our gear back on and started our second dive. We were supposed to do an exercise where we act like we are low on air and must share air with our dive buddy. So we all dove down and swam around a bit while everyone came down to the platform. Before we started the exercise, two people panicked and went to the surface. For some reason, the instructor then changed up all the buddies and motioned for me to start doing the exercise with another diver. The second instructor then watched as the other diver acted like he was running low on air. I grabbed his BC then tried to pull him toward me. (BC = buoyancy compensatorsicko.) But his vest strap was loose and it just got even more loose when I pulled on it. The other diver was paying attention to his loose vest rather than the exercise and I was feeling a bit loopy, kind of like I was on happy gas. So the two combined made for a sloppy exchange when I offered him my secondary. He eventually got it and traded his regulator for mine. Then after a breath or two he spit it out and started flailing trying to find his regulator. The second instructor grabbed it for him and motioned for us to go up. We hadn't even finished the exercise yet. So I was confused why we were going up. I went up slowly with them anyway. It was darker now since there was no light from the roof and the other two had lights from the cavern behind them which were making light rays in the water and all I could see were silhouettes of them both. I couldn't see any details at all. Suddenly when we were about 10 feet from the surface the instructor grabbed us both shoved his secondary regulator in the face of the other diver and the other diver took it. I had no clue what was going on. When we got to the top the instructor told me I had been too slow to react. I was still confused as to what I had needed to respond to. He explained how the other diver had run out of air, and had motioned for air and that I hadn't done a thing. I don't know how I was supposed to know that he was out of air. I couldn't see anything either of them was doing in the first place. I said nothing. The other diver who had run out of air swam to the dock and got out along with the instructor. I just sat there againdoing nothing staring at brown walls and brown water all around, just floating while the rest of the group that was still underwater finished their exercises.

I was mad, bored, a bit embarrassed, frustrated, and ready to just give up on diving right then and there. Everything had gone wrong and everything that had gone wrong was started because of equipment problems or situations that I had no control over. Yeah I made mistakes also, so there's some blame on me. But freak, if I can't make a small mistake sink too far and not die or cause someone else to drown because I can't see what they are doing, then diving is just not my thing. I can't trust the equipment, and I'm still learning how to dive so I don't trust myself. Plus the instructors were getting mad at me when I didn't know how to react in situations that I had no way of knowing what was wrong in the first place. THAT'S THE WHOLE REASON I'M DOING A SCUBA COURSE! TO LEARN WHAT TO DO! It wasn't my depth gauge that was broken; it was the one they gave me. It wasn't my air that was out; it was the other diver who hadn't paid attention to how much air he had, and had run out. Blah!!!

When the rest of the group came up, Inst1 told me I had failed the buddy share air exercise and if the whole thing had been the exam I would not get my certification. That's fine and all except I NEVER REALLY GOT TO DO THE EXERCISE! I WAS FLOATING AT THE SURFACE DOING NOTHING SINCE THE OTHER GUY HAD RUN OUT OF AIR! Did I fail because my depth gauge was not working? Did I fail because I lost my buddy once? Did I fail because another diver ran out of air? Did I fail because I never finished the share air exercise? Somewhere in the whole mess of things I didn't buy a new battery for my depth gauge underwater, I didn't use my night vision to see the other diver when he motioned "out of air", and I didn't stop time long enough for me to do the last exercise while the other guy ran out of air. Obviously I FAILED! If next week is this bad again, I'm not going diving ever again. Don't tell me not to quit. It's just better that way. No one drowns, no one dies, no one gets mad, end of story.

The middle is nice, unless there's a cross-fire.

2006-03-29T00:48:00.000-07:00

It's 3am so if I mispell stuff ... blah blah disclaimer blah blah blah...

Whether you are a mediator, go-between, moderator, negotiator, peacemaker, arbirator, advocate, middleman, etc. It doesn't matter how you put it, what all these words connote is that you are in the middle.

There are some great advantages to being in the middle of things. It's nice to be able to change things. When you are in the middle you are usually well positioned to sway the balances one way or another. Being in the middle you get to experience both sides of a discussion or debate. Pretty much being in the middle usually means that you are engaged in the situation. This is good and all until shots start firing. Then, being in the middle just plain sucks. Everyone has had the experience of being present when two other people are arguing when suddenly you hear your name as they turn to you and say something to the effect of "Isn't that right?" (If you haven't had that happen, then you need to get out more...myspace alone just isn't a healthy social life)

Anyway, classic case of parent vs child, my Dad told my younger sister she couldn't go hang out with some friends since they were boys, and a heated exchange of words ensued. Later when they were in the NTTA stage (Never Talk to Them Again stage) my dad asked me to try and reason with my sister. I saw his point, I mean I know why boys ask girls to do stuff with them. However I also understood why she was mad and I didn't really have any idea what to say. Jokes usually work well so I decided to say that I could see why she was mad,and explain that all dad wanted was to keep her a prisoner for life. Well, she took the joke seriously. She just got madder thinking about it and started ignoring me. So I took a few moments to say some mushy stuff and then left. Sometimes that's about all you can do I guess. I don't mind trying to cheer people up, but I've found that when you get caught in the middle of arguments there is almost no way of getting out without getting some of the mud stuck and dried to you. Why can't we all just get along?!?!

So now the disadvantages of being caught in the middle. You get hit from both sides. If things get really crazy, then you are likely to get pushed to one side or another unwillingly. Sometimes you don't even need to do anything since it's so easy to get lost in all the hubbub. And the worst is when you do get lost or pushed to one side, people think you betrayed them since you ended up on the other side. Then you have to claw your way back to the fence, climb all the way back up, and when you get finally back on you feel like humpty dumpty for a long time after. He at least had a sturdy wall to sit on! Relationships are just so complex...I guess that's part of what keeps life interesting. What else would keep you awake till 3am?

Don't want to have fun...

2006-02-26T15:00:00.000-07:00

When I'm moody or depressed I tend to avoid doing things with other people. Which is completely opposite of what I should do since when I'm doing something fun with friends, I'm happy. It just doesn't make sense that when people are sad they tend to avoid things that make them happy.

For example a couple friends and I had planned on going night boarding at a ski resort yesterday. About an hour before we were gonna leave one of them called up and said he wouldn't be going. I was kinda bummed since it's funner with more people and now it was just me and one other friend who had only been snowboarding once before. I don't mind riding with people who are learning, it's just better when there are more people to share in the experience. Plus there were a bunch of other small problems that had put me in a poor mood. To be honest I was of the mind to just sit down on the couch and waste the rest of the day away watching movies and playing video games. Even though I love snowboarding and I knew it would be fun if we did go, I had no desire to do anything but vegetate. So I asked my friend how bad he wanted to go since I wasn't sure if I still wanted to myself. He responded hesitantly by asking me the same question and I replied I wasn't against going, but I'm not very good at lying and hesitated. He then answered the question in the same hesitant manner. After such a sad exchange of words, we both knew that the other guy didn't really want to go anymore, but niether of us were man enough to make the call to cancel. And so on the spur of the moment we decided to go and put our stuff in the car, then headed out. The closer we got to the resort the more excited we became to go boarding which was odd since not even an hour before we were a hair away from just staying home.

We got on the mountain and only had a few hours to ride, but we had a blast. This is my first season riding and so I'm still learning to do tricks and stuff, I've mostly stuck to small jumps and a couple bar grinds. But I decided it was time to do some bigger jumps and I took the opportunity to do get more air than I've done before. It's such an adrenaline rush! I also had the biggest crash I've ever had before, and got hurt. But it was so much fun! And I'll be good to go again in a few more days.

The night ended up being a great night for snowboarding and both my friend and I were very glad we went. I still can't believe we almost didn't go. Anyway, as a side note...cell phones and snowboarding don't mix very well. Especially when you forget to zip the pocket with the cell phone. Somewhere on the mountain, my phone is freezing and being run over by other snowboarders. So moral of this whole story is...don't forget to zip your pockets! Oh, and wear a helmet if you are going to be doing big jumps.

New Snowboard

2006-01-08T18:25:00.000-07:00

Since I was in like 7th grade I've wanted to go snowboarding. Well I finally went and liked it so much I went and bought my own stuff and a season pass so I can go a lot without paying as much as I would renting and buying a lift pass each time I go. I ended up getting a fair deal on the stuff...$259 for the season pass, $199 for the board (Ride Impact 155cm), $99 Ride LX Bindings, and $129 for the Ride Orion boots. It was a hit to the wallet for sure...but a hit that I'm willing to take since it was that much fun.

Superstitions

2006-01-05T00:20:00.000-07:00

Current mood: cheerful

There are a lot of benefits to being a part of the filipino group. Best of all are the parties, tons of food, and great friends. I spent New Year's Eve at a family friend's house where we had a whole bunch of filipino friends and family. Filipino people are quite superstitious, and there are a couple of fun superstitions that go along with the New Year celebration. So I thought I'd list two I learned about tonight.

1) If you have money in your pocket at midnight then you will have more money the next year.
2) If you happened to wear a red shirt, you will be prosperous.

So count the change and bills in your pockets and next year you'll have more. And those of you who wore red shirts, you will be successful this year. (Luckily for me I had a dollar given to me and I wore the only red shirt I have. I didn't even know about the prosperous year thing.) Some other fun superstitions are if you drop a fork or a spoon, depending on the way it lands the next boy or girl (respective to fork and spoon) who visits your house will be either ugly or beautiful. So a fork lands up the next person to visit you will be a handsome boy. Or if your left palm itches you are about to get some money. Does your palm itch? I wish mine did...

Anyway thought I'd share some of my heritage since it is cool stuff. Happy New Year to everyone! May it be one of peace and prosperity for all.

Sore But Fun

2006-01-05T00:02:00.000-07:00

Current mood: excited
Category: Sports

I've lived in Utah my whole short life.... But for some reason there are some things that I just have never taken the time to do. I've found that trying new stuff is painful. Whether emotionally since it is a bit stressful when you are doing something you've never done before, or physically since you aren't used to the movements or whatever. If you want to become a good speaker you've got to speak a lot, and starting off you'll likely tell a few failed jokes before you get them right. If you are learning to dance, you'll make wrong steps until you learn the right movements. And if you learn to snowboard, like I did today, you'll have a sore butt and a fun time. Seriously, I fell on my rear more times than I care to count. But it was so freaking fun!

Side Note: (All girls who think your "behind" is larger than you prefer, go snowboarding! You will never complain about having the extra padding again. And it's great exercise so the extra extra padding will go away, if you catch my snow drift?)

There's nothing like the feeling of flying down the mountain at speeds so fast that the trees begin to blur and then crashing so hard that you roll the rest of the way down. Hehe, I'm hoping to go again so that that experience will just be just the blurry trees and not the crashing part. Even though the snow takes a lot of the hit from the fall, it still deals a heavy hand when you "catch an edge" and next thing you know you and the snow are becoming one entity as the snow tries to engulf you and swallow you whole. Luckily there were plenty of other newbies out today and I wasn't one of the poor chaps who got eaten alive.

Most of the people I met and talked to were cool. I met some guys from California who were being evicted from their apartment and for some reason saw fit to go skiing, and some girls from Arizona who tried to slam me into the chair lift because they were falling (or so they say), and had a few short conversations with my fellow Sore Butts as we picked ourselves out of the side of the mountain. (hmm...I just got a really odd mental image)

Anyway, snowboarding is cool, and it's fun. That's the point. If you go to learn how to snowboard...bring good goggles, good gloves, and go on a day when it is snowing...that way the snow will be softer. :-) I'm really excited to go again.

-Chris

Closed

2005-12-20T01:23:00.000-07:00

Closed...
Current mood: Closed, Pessimistic

This is a long one…

So many things influence a person as to whether or not they are outgoing or shy, dramatic or muted, even happy or depressed. There’s the biological, brain chemistry, neurotransmitter deficiency stuff, life altering experiences like the death of a close relation, and some believe spiritual experiences such as prayer, visions, revelations, dreams, prophecy, etc. all of which have something to do with who we are and why we act the way we do. I’m usually a bit closed sometimes shy type. So when I am asked to go share thoughts or feelings, I end up feeling very uncomfortable even if I acquiesce and open up. I’ve noticed that most of the closed types I know are guys. If you watch "That 70's Show" much, Hyde is the TV embodiment of what I'm talking about. He doesn't show a lot of emotion when bad things happen, and doesn’t necessarily share a lot about what he’s going through with others. When he gets busted for possession and is kicked out of the house by Red, he takes the hits as they come and doesn’t complain. Later it turns out the drugs weren’t his, and right as he is on his way out Red tells him he can stay. Hyde’s only response is, “Cool” as he turns around to go back to the basement. Very little expression of sadness or happiness is given whether he’s being kicked out or invited back in. It is obvious that he doesn’t want to be kicked out and that he’s happy when he gets invited back in, but the range of emotion only goes from a monotone disappointment to a sincere “cool.”

What is it that makes it hard for some people to open up? I don’t like to talk about bad things that have happened and I hate talking about how I feel about past experiences or people. It’s much easier for me to just state the facts as I remember them and leave it at that. I’ve never told my parents when I’ve had a crush on anyone unless they found out some other way. I’ve never told some of the most embarrassing things I’ve done, and I doubt I ever will. There are plenty of semi-embarrassing situations I’ve been in that I talk about during the Truth or Dare type games. I won’t let on that there have been times that were worse, even though sometimes I want to tell people what I’ve been through. Even now some of my deepest memories are surfacing into my thoughts and I find myself pushing them back down into the depths of my mind, and yet at the same time I want to share them to see what others would say in hopes of some kind of empathy or understanding. I do tell people though when they will be affected by what happened. If I broke something I fess up, or if I was wrong about something I apologize. However If I think a person is not affected then they won’t find out from me, unless I go confess my sins to the bishop which is very hard for me to do. It’s not like I’ve done anything really bad, but the few things that I have messed up, I don’t want to talk about. If you’ve ever confessed your sins as part of your religion, then you probably know the idea I’m trying to convey.

So when is it ok to share feelings and stuff? There have been times when I’ve said things that I shouldn’t have Some opinions and feelings destroy awesome relationships that could’ve been continued. I am a nerd in many ways, an athletic nerd, a funny(looking) nerd, a short(but cool) nerd. I’ve had countless people tell jokes about me because of things I like to do and because of my stature. I can take the jokes and deal them back out in most cases since I feel good about how I look and what I can accomplish. Plus, talking about a prominent “feature” of a person’s face is usually a great starting point when going for a “boomerang burn.” Yet there’s a point when a joke becomes an insult and the line isn’t very easy to find sometimes. Even when joking with people who I know really well and care about a lot, I’ve crossed the line. My family and best friends have been victim to some of these comments without my meaning to cause pain when I've told jokes that I thought were funny before I actually said it. One time I remember being with a bunch of good friends and my best friend didn’t show up on time for the party. When he finally arrived I made a comment about how late he was and joked about him having a problem that needed to be corrected but probably couldn’t be. I was a bit mad that he was late, but it didn’t really matter that much to me. So I thought a joke along those lines would be quite good. Little did I know that there had been real problems that led to his tardiness and they were problems that were still "hot on the stove". He left very quickly after I finished and I could tell I’d gone too far. There’s no feeling worse than trying to be funny and messing it up so bad that you end up hurting a loved one instead(explicative words might express the situation better). Jokes are a fun and sometimes great way of communicating since they have such a strong emotional effect. But if people get hurt, then the joke becomes worse than an open insult. Hidden meanings even if they weren’t meant to be implied can easily become the wedges that start the break down of even the strongest relationships. I don’t think it’s ok to share your feelings or thoughts when people will get hurt or if I can get hurt because of what I said. That is why I’ve decided to keep many of my personal experiences and thoughts as personal as possible. Sometimes things are better left covered. My religious leaders and some psychologists might counter that statement by saying that the pent up emotions and desires cause inner turmoil. But to be honest outer turmoil sucks more than the inner stuff any day. If I argue with myself I always win the argument…right?

I'm prone to keep things to myself mostly because I don't want to get hurt and I don't want to hurt others. I have a hard time imagining how good life could be if everyone understood each other so well that secrets weren't necessary and that jokes would be funny every time. World peace anyone? And even though everyone would raise their hand if they were asked if they wanted world peace, there is little chance that anyone will find a way to make it happen. I think I just saw a pig flying outside my window...but it's really late and I'm probably hallucinating.

Can you feel that Christmas feeling?

2005-12-09T18:23:00.000-07:00

Current mood: numb
Category: Life

The older I get, the less excited I am about Christmas. I still like Christmas a lot. I love the chance to spend time with the family, the chance to give gifts and see how happy people are to receive them, the chance to be a better person by sharing. But I as I was growing up I remember being so excited for Christmas that I would have to run around naked jumping and screaming to get rid of all the excitement...well maybe not naked...or the running. But the point being that I was way excited. I knew exactly what I wanted to get, I knew what I wanted to give to others, and I had countless chances to serve others since there were so many older people living in the area.

Now I don't know what I want for Christmas. I mean I know what I WANT...an Aprilia Falco...but somehow people just don't understand how bad I want one and they don't get me things like that. Yeah so Christmas wasn't just about what I was going to get that made it so exciting, but the hopes I had as a kid that we would get a new sled or a new video game are gone. That part of the excitement is no longer there for me since I don't have any real wants for Christmas.

Another thing that has changed is that I'm living on my own and since I'm only around other students, single people, most everyone leaves for the holidays. That means the chances for service are gone back home...the chances of spending time with people are gone back home...all that's left is gift giving, and that usually ends up being something like a couple of candy bars taped together with duct tape and labled with a permanent marker last minute style. Students don't usually have enough time or money to do much more. So like everyone else I went home also. But not until Friday, two days before Christmas since I had to work, another thing that has taken part of the magic away from the holidays for me. Being required to work really goes a long way to taking the excitement out of things. Sure I took extra vacation, but just a couple days. Better than some jobs where people had to work Christmas day...but still annoying. If you had to work on Christmas or even Christmas Eve, kudos to you. I'd have gone crazy if I had to work then. Work takes time away that is so much better spent doing fun things, going to see relatives, and doing service for the old people. Sure I get paid to work, but it's not rewarding at all in ways that count more than money. Something was missing I guess.

This Christmas the one thing I really looked forward to was giving the few gifts I had to give, but I still wasn't as excited as usual. I even took extra time to think about what people needed/wanted and made sure I got stuff that would mean something. But still I wasn't as excited. Again something missing.

I think I missed the meaning of Christmas somehow, and that is what bugs me the most.

Music - My heart and soul

2005-12-03T14:35:00.000-07:00

Music is the only way of communicating some feelings. It can be used for good and for bad just like any other form of human communication. But it profoundly affects both those who listen and those who play. I’m not going to talk about how it can be used for good or bad. All I want to do want is express how music has changed my life.

There is nothing like the feeling of having had the best performance and seeing the people you performed for with tears in their eyes and cheering because the music was so wonderful. There is something that touches the deepest parts of the soul, because both the performer and listener grow closer together. For a few brief moments the audience sees who the performer is through their expressions both physical and musical. They in turn are changed by the emotions and ideas that are contained in the songs. Even if the change is temporary it is not easily forgotten.

My most memorable experiences are the performances I have been a part of, either playing or listening. One concert I particularly recall was a concert with Rostropovich who is a famous cello player that I had the opportunity to meet. His performance was incredible! It was so good that we wouldn't stop clapping even after he had performed a third encore. I had the chance to shake his hand and thank him for the inspiring performance. I will not forget how he was really humble about it, and even with his thick Russian accent, I could tell he was sincerely glad that my friends and I had enjoyed the concert. His music brought us together as we listened to the beautiful melodies.

Two days ago my brother and sister had their school Christmas Concert. During the last song any alumni are invited to join the orchestra and choir on stage as they play Handel's "Halleluiah Chorus" from The Messiah. So I grabbed a cello and joined my brother in the cello section. As we started playing, the music began to surround every one and the audience stood up. No longer was this a concert where “we perform and you listen.” It became an expression of unity as we all let the song flow from our hearts, hands and voices to the hearts of the audience. Nothing compares to that feeling. I’ve been on motorcycles going faster than I should (The adrenaline rush is incredible). But the euphoria of music is a complete mixture of sadness, joy, love, and brotherhood that cannot be found any other way. As the final chords were played everyone was smiling and had tears in their eyes. And through the music we were able to communicate how we felt about Christ, the memories of Christmas we’ve had, and the friendship and kindness we all had for each other.

Music will always be part of me and will continue to define my life. Whether I’m inspired and invigorated by the beat or calmed and comforted by the melody I am extremely grateful to be able to listen and perform. Those who perform their hearts out and those who listen with both ears become better human beings because of the experience they share.

Deep Dream

2005-11-26T02:17:00.000-07:00

I've been interested in web design and photography for years, and I've always had the dream of owning my own business. So I finally decided I'd had enough working at dead end jobs (Software testing just doesn't get very exciting) and I've started my own web design company along with my best friend. True to the fact that owning a business is a dream of mine, I named the company Deep Dream LLC.

I've got to say it's a lot more work doing business on your own. But it has been a lot more fun. I get to go take pictures, program the websites, and make it all look good...well at least try to make it all look good. :-P Currently I'm studying at BYU, so I'm hoping I'll make enough to pay for my rent and tuition. There's also the option of moving back in with my parents, who are actually very cool. It's just the independant life is just so much better. I guess that's why I'm also starting my own business. I'd much rather be working on stuff that inspires me to succeed instead of working on stuff my boss tells me to do so that he / she can get a bonus when the product ships on time. Currently I'm just doing the pages for free until I can get my name out there and a small portofolio to show off. I'm working on a page for a good friend that I've known since grade school. He's starting a new business also (I guess it's kinda the fad now) building high quality custom cabinets. The good thing about web design is that it takes a lot of time but not a lot of money. I've invested about $800 in software and other stuff to be able to create the webpages. Whereas my friend has invested thousands just go get started...and right now I have a lot more time than I have money. I'm very excited about the new business, even though it takes so much time.

Deep Dream

Thanksgiving Dinner - Winning and Losing

2005-11-26T01:31:00.000-07:00

Current mood: complacent

Just had Thanksgiving dinner at some family friends' house. My mom is Filipino. So we have lots of Filipino friends. If you've ever been to a Filipino party you know there will be Karaoke. I am not a very good singer. I can hold a tune and I've got a good low pitched voice, but karaoke was never really my thing. So when the host announced a contest to see who could get the highest singing score on the machine I wasn't too excited. However I decided to do it just for fun.

The competition started and when my turn came I decided to sing Africa, by Toto, a personal favorite. I stood up and did my thing, ended up getting a very high score, and tied for first place with the host of the party. We had a face off, and I decided it was time to lose since the other guy actually had a good voice. So I chose a song I didn't really know and lost pretty quickly. Funny thing though, the host felt bad winning his own contest so he gave me the prize. :-) Turned out well for both of us. He won, and he deserved it. I got the prize and was happy for it.

Sometimes I wonder why people think something is impossible when their dream really is just a step away. How many people would have decided not to participate and forfeited the prize just because they didn't think they could win. Then I ask myself the question...why did I decide to lose? What if I had chosen another song I really liked and won the whole thing? Somehow winning and losing isn't just one person being better than the other...desire, ability, experience, luck and divine intervention all play their own part I guess. And so I say, hope for the best, prepare for the test, and leave the rest to chance or God or whatever else you may believe in.

Australian Pink Floyd Concert

2005-11-11T01:38:00.000-07:00

My ears are still ringing from the music at the concert I just went to. If you are a Pink Floyd fan then you have to go to the Australian Pink floyd concert nearest you! It was awesome! Be sure to listen to the original group cd before you go and then you can compare. These guys got the Pink Floyd feeling down and it sounds good! I went to their concert last year also and their lead female soloist was incredible. This year the female voices weren't quite as amazing although they were still very very good. However they made up for it since they had a newer and much better sound system this time. I don't think my ears will ever be the same again! The sound was clear and crisp, which made it possible to hear even the softer background harmonies and sounds of the songs, but it was so loud that you could barely hear the guy next to you yelling. This was easily one of the best concerts I've been to. Again if you have the chance to see Australian Pink Floyd...DO IT!

When the Sun Sets

2005-10-13T23:02:00.000-06:00

When the Sun Sets

Why does the sun set?
Why do we sleep?
What makes a man think,
That he can reach a dream?

The sun sets when our world turns,
and we sleep when our arms burn.
The man who dreams
and reaches out,
will reach the dream
he dreamed about.

Then when your sun sets
and your arms burn.
Go home and dream,
it's another's turn.

Another Liesurely Sunday Ride

2005-10-02T21:34:00.000-06:00

Maybe Sunday is just not a good day to go on motorcycle rides. No I didn't crash again. I actually had a really nice ride except for an unexpected stop with 4 police cars surrounding me and two friends. The ride started out really well. I set off with Mike and Chase just after noon. We had good weather with a leafy and cool fall breeze, warm rays from the sun softened by wispy clouds, and plenty of premium grade gas in our cycles.

I was riding the CBR that I crashed a month or so ago, and my two friends were riding a couple of old cruisers, an 83 Honda Shadow 750cc and an 82 Honda 450 cc. We went out to a nearby canyon and rode up some windy roads with red, orange and yellow trees on both sides and a few light green fields breaking up the forest here and there. It was the perfect place for this time of year. We got to the end of the road without any incidents even after going over some really sharp turns that had gravel on them. Then we stopped to take a look around. When we were ready to leave I traded cycles with Chase and so I rode the 82 450cc on the way back. We made it all the way to the city and were stopped at an intersection only about 5 minutes from my apartment. Mike and Chase were ahead of me side by side waiting for the light to change. Just before the light was going to change, Mike nudged Chase to race him off the line. And so, on the green signal, they took off. I tried to keep up but the 450 I was riding had no chance and I let my speed only get to just over the speed limit. Chase started off a bit slower than Mike but ended up blowing by him a second later. Cruiser vs CBR...hmm...not such a fair race.

I didn't catch up to them till a few blocks later where we made a right turn onto the street where I live. We all slowed down to the speed of traffic since there were so many cars it was pointless to go fast anyway when I heard a siren behind me. Checking my mirrors I saw a police car and I pulled to the right to let him by thinking that he was going some where else. He passed me. Mike pulled over to the right also and he passed Mike. Chase was a bit further ahead and he didn't pass Chase. He pulled chase over just ahead of us. Mike and I looked at each other and silently decided to ditch Chase hoping the police man wasn't targeting us also. But to our dismay he got out stood in the way and signaled for us to get over also. As we were pulling over two more cop cars turned the corner and pulled up behind us with a fourth one that showed up a minute or two later.

They went through the regular thing...driver's license please...do you know why WE pulled you over?... Chase was getting the interview while Mike and I just talked with two of the police men nearest us. After a bit the first police dude stopped talking with chase, walked over to where Mike and I were then said something to the effect of, we didn't see you because you sped away so fast but we heard your engines and could tell you were going @#%@#ing fast. "You had your throttles open all the way racing up the street..." We then got a lecture on how we shouldn't be going so fast and that 4 people had already died because they were so dumb. Mike denied having gone that fast and used the words "messing around" instead of racing. The cops then all went over to the first cop car and started looking in some big fat book and talking back and forth.

A minute later all of them walked up to Mike and me, Chase came over also. The same cop again told us how no matter how good a driver you are that if you drive fast you'll die (course even slow drivers die, though maybe not as quickly), then said "we'll let you all off with a warning since we don't want to ruin your driving records." Of course we were all very VERY relieved. Thinking back though I realize now that they let us off since they never actually saw us racing. Either way though I was happy that no one had to pay for any tickets. And finally we went the last few blocks home and celebrated the ticketless ride.

The moral of the story: Leisurely Sunday Rides and Chris(uncelilo) do not mix.

Rocky the Budgie Passes on

2005-09-13T22:56:00.000-06:00

It's always sad when a good pet dies. My little friend Rocky died today. He's been in the family for a long time, and we'll miss The Bird a lot. We've had a lot of birds and each one is different. Some were smart, others were or are playful, some are just regular birds. Rocky had the strongest personality of any of them. He knew who he liked and who he didn't. My dad was one of those unlucky people who Rocky didn't like, as well as was my friend Drew. The scars on their hands are examples of this little budgie's grudges. Drew even took care of Rocky when we were on vacation more than once. Rocky just didn't ever warm up to him.
My brother and I were some of the more lucky people who didn't get on Rocky's bad side. But even we couldn''t escape the wrath of The Bird when he was rudely woken. I think the only person that could get The Bird out of the cage without getting bit was my sister Alecsis. She just has a way with the small animals I guess. As for Marites, she never dared even let Rocky sit on her finger for fear of losing her fingers. My mom and Rocky seemed to have more of a truce relationship. Kind of a you take care of me and I won't bite you deal. My mom was the one who made sure that the cage was clean and that Rocky always had food and water. Rocky wouldn't have lived half as long without her.
We'll miss you Rocky, even my dad will miss you. ;-) Your chirps, whistles, and even your bites. Rest in peace little bird.

Religion and Eldest

2005-09-10T10:37:00.000-06:00

I just finished reading Eldest, the second in a soon to be trilogy written by Christopher Paolini. I was intrigued by the religious threads that are weaved into the wondrous tapestry that is the story about Eragon and Saphira, Rider and dragon. If you haven't read Eragon or Eldest, you should.

Now that I'm past giving free advertising, I wanted to point out of few of the religious arguments th at Christopher makes in Eldest. Briefly the story has three races each of which have different beliefs. The humans believe in a God or Gods depending on the group, the dwarves believe in many Gods, and the elves do not believe in a God, yet they do not deny that God could exist.

The elves' ideals are highly favored in many ways, and Paolini seems to be making a statement that religion is a way to explain things we don’t understand. I don't want to ruin it, so I won't go into any of the story details. I'll just say that the elves do not believe in God because everything they have encountered and learned after their millennia of existence does not point to the existence of God. The character, Oromis says that all the “miracles” that have lead to the religions of the humans and dwarves have an explanation. There are not many things the elves have not yet found an explanation for. Oromis goes far enough to say, “If gods exist, have they been good custodians of Alagaësia? Death, sickness … and countless other miseries stalk the land. If this is the handiwork of divine beings, then they are to be rebelled against and overthrown, not given obeisance, obedience, and reverence.”

While the other religions are discussed and considered, they are not looked at nearly as positively during the story. When the dwarves' religion is being explained it is immediately mocked by a character in the book, an elf. When Eragon thinks about the human belief systems he passes them off as somewhat silly. Yet when the elves' ideology is presented, Eragon considers it deeply, and none of it is mocked or countered by any other character. He also shares their point of view on life because he comes to see things the way they do. The elves are vegetarian because they respect life and do not want to cause unneeded suffering. Eragon becomes vegetarian when he realizes what the animals truly are. Although Eragon shows respect for the dwarf religion and for the human beliefs, it is obvious that he does not ascribe to those beliefs. The main character of the book accepts the elven ideals. In the acknowldgments, Paolini states that just as Eragon is growing from a boy to a man, he is maturing as he writes Eragon's epic. "The process of writing Eragon... and now finally completing Eldest has swept me into adulthood...Eragon's journey has been my own."

This poses the question, does Paolini intentionally put the elves and their way of life on a higher pedestal than that of the other races because he believes the way they do? Elves are by far the most mystical, magical, powerful and any other awe-inspiring adjectives of the three races. Their only fault is that they too often underestimate the other races. An elf could beat a human or a dwarf in any contest of wits or strength. Maybe it is because of their revered status as a race in general, that their ideology is also viewed as more valid than the others. However the mocking elf and the acceptance of the elves' way by Eragon show that Paolini himself ascribes to the ideas of the elves, life is sacred and belief in God is a way to explain things that are not understood.

Does religion only bring meaning to things that are beyond our current comprehension? Is it just a way to explain things we don’t understand? Or is there something more to this life than what we can see, taste, smell, touch, and hear? Then there’s the question does religion cause more good than bad in the world?

I’m still putting my opinions and beliefs together in a coherent thought. So come back in a week and there’ll be more on this subject.

Liesurely Sunday Crash

2005-08-29T23:07:00.000-06:00

I had my first real accident yesterday. Last night I decided to go for a nice liesurely ride on my roomate's CBR 600. I went riding on some mountain roads near my apartment. Just before I was going to go home I decided to take a road I've haven't been on since I was a kid. Turns out the road had a lot of gravel on it and curved more than I remembered. On a really tight u-turn I hit a patch of gravel and the rest is history. I didn't get anything more than a bruise but, the bike took a pretty hard hit and scrape. So the extra money from my next four pay checks will be going towards the repairs. Surprisingly my roomate wasn't overly angry. He's a cool level headed guy, but had I been in his place I would have freaked out. So the lesson learned here is: Dark and treacherous roads do not make for very liesurely Sunday rides. Save those adventures for when you are wide awake and can see where you are going before you get there.

2005-08-27T00:12:00.000-06:00

Today was my last day at my job of 3 years. It's been a very good job for me. The environment is nice and relaxed and I got to work with great people. They have a healthy expectation of quality and productivity which keeps the job interesting. I actually wouldn't be quitting if I hadn't received an offer at another company that I didn't want to pass up. Before moving on to the new job though I have to say that the people I've worked with are some of the best, not just as professionals but as friends. Thanks to all of you at Waterford for your friendship.

2005-08-25T18:05:00.000-06:00

Balance is everything, Moderation in all things, but Mediocrity is not allowed.

2005-08-25T17:01:00.000-06:00

I've had so many things change in my life the past month and I'm realizing that I'm throwing out of lot of my childhood goals as I make room for the stick and stones that are filling up my days. I'm giving up things that I've dreamed of doing for my whole life, which is not that long to some, but for me it's been all I know. And the small flame of child-like hope I have clung to flickers each time I let day to day happenings snuff out the dreams that have lighted my way for so long...

When the winds of change blow,
There is something you should know.
Goals can be a hold
if you reach out and be bold.
Don't get blown away.
Grab a hold of today.
And when those winds blow.
There will be a place to go.

Remember your dreams
and who you want to be.